Habits that Handicap Your Success - Saying No
The most successful entrepreneurs do it.
It’s not meditating or poring over profit and loss statements
… although they are important activities in any business.
They do it to focus on efficiency, effectiveness and profit while they serve their clients
… not on being liked or valued or easy to get along with.
They can do it gracefully, but they do it because they know it’s vitally important to their business success as well as their health and fulfillment.
It’s something that you may tend to resist
… but this simple action will make your business easier to grow, help you concentrate your efforts, and release you from overwhelm.
Check out the video or read below to learn what you can do to stop handicapping your success in your business by avoiding this action.
Today's Habit That Can Handicap Your Success
You don't say NO.
I know. Saying NO can be difficult. It’s also known as “setting a boundary.” And setting a boundary can be easy. Enforcing it can be harder.
So we’re just going to talk a bit today about where you don’t feel like you can say no. Is it to a committee on one of the organizations you belong to? Is it to a friend who really needs to talk? Is it to a colleague who’s always asking you to do part of their work?
Do you have a hard time saying NO? I think a lot of women do, because I think a lot of us feel like we are only valued for what we give. And we are so eager to please other people that saying NO seems really selfish, and seems almost impossible sometimes.
The Results of Not Saying No
So where does this wind up? It winds up in a lot of stress—over work—that can lead to illness. And certainly, lack of happiness and lack of fulfillment. And as a human being, you have the right to be happy and fulfilled.
And if you’re not saying NO to those things that don’t make you feel happy and fulfilled, then that’s a habit for you to look at—and to begin to break.
And so, how do you break this habit?
- Of always saying yes.
- Of always doing for other people.
- Trying to please them because you want them to like you.
- Trying to be more valuable by how much you give.
The remedy is to contain your energy and focus some of it on you.
Contain your energy.
And what does that mean? That means looking at what your needs are.
How are you feeling today?
- Do you feel like being gregarious and talking to other people?
- Or do you need some quiet time?
- Do you need to rest?
- Do you need someone else to do something for you?
Containing your energy is about recycling it, and giving it to yourself, focusing it on yourself—rather than focusing it outwards on everyone else who "needs" you.
So this means that you have to stop giving it all away, and focus on yourself.
I know it’s not easy. But it’s really necessary if you’re going to build your business and grow your success.
A Problem That Can Arise
And how it shows up when you can’t say NO, or you don’t say NO, is that you might let people into your business—clients into your business—that really are not a fit.
If you have a small service-based business and have at least 1 client who’s not a great fit, it can make everything pretty miserable.
I know, I’ve been there and done that. So I’ve gotten much more selective about the clients that I take—because I know that if I say no to the people that I won’t work with successfully, who aren’t ready for me or to work with me—then I have a greater chance of success.
And they have a greater chance of succeeding with someone else. Saying no can benefit other people as well.
So your assignment this week, should you choose to accept it is: to say no 3 times this week.
Say no. It can be very small. Like, “No, I don’t care for any more potatoes.”
It can be bigger, “No, I don’t have the bandwidth to serve on that committee at this time. I appreciate your asking, but no.”
Or, “No, honey, I’m not going to fold your laundry. You’re big enough to do that yourself.”
See how that feels. And see how saying yes to your ability to say NO will give you more energy, more enthusiasm, and more a chance and opportunity to take action in your business this week.
Until next time, say yes to yourself—and no to what doesn’t serve you.