Habits that Handicap Your Success - Deserving
It lurks in the soul of almost every woman I’ve ever talked to.
Tons of research and well-respected books delve into it.
There’s much debate on the cause and the cure for it.
And yet it continues to plague even the most successful of us.
I have a new spin on it. Watch (or read below) and let me know what you think of my idea about how to remedy this difficult challenge to you and your business.
Do you deserve success?
The habit if thinking you don’t deserve success is a really insidious one, because it can be very unconscious.
But it makes us keep our life and business really small, if we think we don’t deserve more success.
If you do achieve some success, perhaps you feel like an impostor—like, “I don’t deserve this.”
Or maybe you just don’t try. Maybe you’ve already given up and have decided, “Well, I don’t deserve it, so I’m not going to get it.”
But here’s the catch: I don’t think it’s really about deserving.
Because in reality, who are you to say whether you deserve it or not? What’s your measuring stick? Do you have to be this good (higher level) to deserve—and you only feel this good (lower level)?
I think a lot of us are in that position. So I don’t think that deserving is the right question or the right ruler.
A Whole New Perspective
I think what would put that whole question back in our court and give us more control over it is, “Am I a match to what I want? Am I a match to what I want?”
And what I mean by that is: Emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually are you matched up with what you want?
Because if you’re not, it’s going to be harder to get it – impossible even. It’s like, there’s a mismatch. There’s not a match, and we want the match.
Matching in Action
So I’ll tell you a story where this became really evident to me.
Recently, I decided to move, and I didn’t have a place to move to. And I was really eager to find a nice place to move to.
I had the opportunity to apply to move into a place that is just magical. Magical, perfect for me, in nature, overlooking a lake. It’s gorgeous—and right in the middle of my town, so I didn’t have to move very far.
I was given the opportunity to apply to rent this place. And I did. And the landlord say, “Well, we’ll get back to you by Monday.”
So over the weekend, I had a meltdown. Because I was not a match to this magical, beautiful place.
What I had to do was to match the energy of the place. I had to talk to the land. I had to talk to the apartment. I had to talk to the lake and say, “I would really like to live here. Please, please help me be a match to you.”
And I know that sounds really weird, but that’s what I did. And on Monday, I got the apartment. And I have moved in.
And that beautiful, magical place is mine. It’s mine. And I did that by matching my energy to the energy of that place. And I think, more specifically, matching my identity. Like I was someone deserving to live in that place.
So let’s look at how you can match your energy with your desires.
Think about something you desire. Maybe it’s earning 6 figures or more a year, in your business.
As you think of that—as you feel into it, you have a sense of earning 6 figures in your business—are you a match to that? Not that you deserve it, but can you match it?
And maybe you can. And if you do match that, then you’re probably doing everything you need to do, and thinking the thoughts you need to think, and feeling the feelings you need to feel—to go for it. And to earn 6 figures in your business.
And if you’re not feeling it, then the question becomes, “Who do you need to be?” Who do you need to be—not someone else—you don’t need to be someone else.
But who do you need to be? What do you need to believe about yourself? And what do you need to do to earn 6 figures in your business?
Give that a thought. Experiment with this:
- think of something you want;
- look to see, sense, and feel whether you're matched to it.
If you’re not a match, ask, “Who do I need to be? And what do I need to do to be a match?” And then, give yourself permission to do that.
That’s your assignment for this week, should you choose to accept it.
I would love to hear what you think of my idea of, instead of deserving, to be a match. Because that is in your power.
You may not know how to do it. But if you desire to do it, you will figure it out. You will figure it out. I hope you say YES to yourself, YES to your deserving and to your matching, and YES to your desires.
And I’ll see you next time.
PS I realize that this process of matching to your desires may be different from any you’ve tried before. If you have questions about how to apply it to your situation, schedule a complimentary strategy session with me at www.TalkWithAdele.com. I’ll help you craft a strategy for matching your desires for your business and your income.