The Bad News about Confidence

The Bad News About Confidence

Do you ever wish you were more confident?

  • When you are presenting your ideas?
  • Asking for a sale?
  • Saying how much your services or programs are worth?

From talking to hundreds of women business owners like yourself, I’ve learned that your answer is probably, “Yes”.

Research studies consistently show that women tend to underestimate their competence by 20 – 30% while men tend to inflate the perception of their competence by the same amount.

In reality, the competence levels on tasks studied were equal for women and men.

Yes, that’s right. Women typically will rate their ability to do a task or a job 20 – 30% below the reality of their competence.

But it doesn’t stop there.

Women routinely doubt their competence, feel that they fall short whether that’s objectively true or not, and hesitate when given an opportunity for advancement.

I probably don’t need to tell you any of this. You may know it all too well from your own experience.

The Bad News about Confidence

While we women worry about our competence, what is really holding us back is perceiving accurately our abilities to get the job done.

Clarissa Pinkola Estes’s Aunt Edna used to say, “Women are overqualified for everything.” (Dr. Estes wrote the wondrous book, Women Who Run with the Wolves, and other wise works about the true nature of women.) I tend to agree with Aunt Edna. Do you?

Studies also show that those with more confidence (not fake, but truly felt) are perceived as more persuasive, influential, and successful. They are listened to more and their ideas move people to action more often.

Isn’t that what you want – to be heard, appreciated, and listened to while you share your work and receive ample compensation for it? Me too!

If you are thinking that being confident would be perceived as being aloof or arrogant, not so fast. These studies show that when confidence is real, the person exhibiting confidence is perceived very positively and is heard and followed more often.

The Bottom Line

So while you may be worrying that you’re not good enough while you try to reach the elusive perfection and high skill levels, your ability to do your work, influence others, and make a positive effect is sorely limited.

You may think you lack competence. And competence is important.

But confidence is the key.

It’s the key to everything:

  • More leads
  • More sales
  • Better performance
  • More influence
  • More happiness
  • More income

So with these facts in mind, I will be writing and talking more in the coming weeks about what you can do to become more confident in a real way so that everything you do feels easier, more profitable, and more fulfilling.

One More Thing to Consider

The bad news about confidence is that it is more important to your success than competence. Don’t get me wrong – you have to be good or even great at what you do.

But you also have to get good or even great at feeling confident in yourself and in your work.

That’s the “bad” news.

But the good news is that you can change your focus, learn new skills, and try new behaviors that bring you more into your own natural confidence.

I know your confidence lurks under the surface just waiting to be revealed.

We’re all born with it.

It’s just that many times it’s trained away and suppressed by life’s circumstances.

I know you can bring it out. And I know some effective and powerful ways to help you do just that.

Believe me when I say that I have been a laboratory experiment about the necessity to build confidence my whole life. And if I can move more fully into my confidence, I know you can too. And I’d like to help by sharing what I’ve learned and mastered along the way.

A First Step

As we move further into building your confidence quotient, try this simple exercise:

  • Find a place in your body where you feel a shimmer or a dollop or a whole chunk of confidence
  • Gently place your attention on it
  • Notice what happens
  • Repeat as desired

That’s it for now. And you can start to get excited about experiencing and expressing more authentic confidence in your work and life!

PS: In case you missed your opportunity to let me know what issues you are facing in your business, please answer this brief survey (literally takes 2 minutes) by Friday, November 10th at 5 pm ET.

When you answer the 5 questions there, you’ll be entered into a drawing for a $25 Amazon Gift Card. (Only one entry per person!) Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you!