Why Avoid Visibility?
Would you rather just listen to the audio? Click the button below.
Why Do We Avoid Visibility?
Let’s dive in to take a look at what is really going on.
I've shown you the fear triangle before. These are the top three reasons I hear people say that they will not market or sell their services because they don't want to be judged, they don't want to be pushy, and they don't want to be rejected.
That's all really valid, I mean who wants to be judged, pushy, or rejected. None of us do.
I think there's some other reasons that we avoid visibility in our business. One is the pretty broad training that most women in the west have received.
Be a good girl, be pretty, say the right things, make other people around you feel good, don't rattle any trees, don't shake anybody's ground, don't step outside of who you're supposed to be.
I know a lot of things have changed over the years, but there's still a lot of prescriptions for women.
We have to look good. We have to work harder. We have to do a lot of things in our world, not only do our business but take care of children, elders or both be friends, contribute to our community. There are so many required requirements to be a good woman.
This starts really early. I think, in my experience girls do better in school, in traditional school than boys do because boys are more active. It's harder for them to sit and listen, and they want to get out and be doing stuff.
Girls can sit there and be good so they get good grades for being good. But it's not the same when you're in business, or in a career working for someone else. Being good does not guarantee anything.
If you're good at what you do and you let people know that you're good at what you do in a way that suits you there are ways to show up, be yourself, and be visible and people will appreciate that. I'm not talking about bragging or being all that, so that other people get turned off.
That's what I'm talking about with visibility.
I think our perfectionism as women, our fear of mistakes, of being a failure, really plays into why we avoid visibility. What if I do it wrong? What if that launch doesn't work? What if that client isn't happy?
It happens a lot. If we can start to look at experiences as data, instead of as a condemnation of us as a good person, or as a good woman then that starts to shape and change things. Fear of failure, fear of making mistakes is another reason, we would avoid visibility.
The last reason is the fear of success. We all have an identity. We have several identities, but one in terms of our work. How well have we done in the past? How well do we feel like we, compared to our peers, have our dreams come true? Have we reached the pinnacle that we want to reach?
There are so many different ways that we judge ourselves. As we start to change that and as that starts to change, we think, I really can do this. I can make those mistakes. I can fail at some things and I can still move forward and have the impact, the reach, and contribution I desire to have.
Fear of success is another reason we avoid visibility.
I know some people tell me, if I'm too successful, then I'll have too much work to do. I won't be able to handle it.
I don't know a whole lot of people, or maybe startups that get really big really fast. But there is a whole team of people working on that, not one individual. As you grow, you can add team members, and you can have people help you.
I don't know anyone who's successful in any area of life who's ever done it by themselves. Ever. The Lone Ranger is such a big myth that we need to deconstruct and say, I need a team. If I can afford a team, I'm going to work towards having a team that's going to help me build my business, serve my clients, and gain more visibility.
So my question to you today is, what's your top reason for avoiding visibility?
If you'd like to have a conversation about that. I'm offering a free consultation on my website.
If you'd like to set up a free 30 minute consultation with me navigate to my website and in the upper right hand corner there is a box that says free consultation click on that and you can register for a time for us to speak. I'll ask you a few questions so that I know how to best serve you and our time together. Thank you for considering facing visibility.