Unraveling Self-Stopping - Shaming

We’re going to tackle a big way you may be stopping yourself, and that’s shaming.

You may know the work of Brené Brown. If you don’t, please check her out. She has so much to say from her research and her teaching about the effects of shaming.

Shame is extremely toxic, and I want to talk about it so that you can locate where you may be shaming and stopping yourself.

Watch the video that includes an energy clearing or read the article to learn how to turn around shaming yourself and get moving toward your dreams.

Shaming is a lie, and it feels heavy. That means that if you’ve been shamed, you’ve been lied to, and it can stop you.

Being Ashamed of Yourself

It’s quite easy to be ashamed of who you are intrinsically.

I’m a very sensitive person and highly intuitive, as you probably are. Those traits were not really valued in my growing-up time.

I know now that I probably pointed out some things to my family that they weren’t interested in hearing. So they would say, “Oh, you’re too sensitive to other people’s emotions, so we would rather you be quiet.”

I took on their opinion as shame – shame of who I really am. I did not feel seen or heard — and believed that I was unworthy of being valued for myself. Now I know that’s a lie. I’ve done the work to unravel that shame so it no longer stops me—and it’s an ongoing process.

If you’ve been abused—and I know many people have been abused or hurt in many ways—you may have taken it on as your fault. Or you were told, “You made me do this to you.”

That’s a really classic, toxic lie.

The truth is, “No, I did not make you do it. You chose to do it, and I was the unwilling recipient of it.”

But you may not have known to say or think that at the time. If you’ve been abused, shame is lurking somewhere.

Shame Can Be Common-Place

Shame can arise from a really humdrum situation. For instance, my mother is a good cleaner. Cleaning is something she pays a lot of attention to and she’s proud of.

I am not a good cleaner - never have been. I’m tidy and like things to be neat and organized.  

Even in a situation like that, I can shame myself into thinking, “Oh, I’m not a good cleaner. Oh, my mother would be disappointed in me.”

Do you ever do that – compare yourself and come up short and ashamed? That’s something else you can lighten up on and clear out of your system.

What about Money Shame?

Money shame can be quite deep with many tentacles like an octopus.

Do you ever say to yourself any of the following?

·       “I haven’t made enough money.”

·       “I don’t know how to make more money.”

·       “I don’t handle my money well.”

Shaming can come along with those judgments.

When I was six, I didn’t get an allowance, but somehow my mother gave me a dollar. We went to the drugstore, and I bought one of those bobble-headed dogs and put it in the back seat of the car while going home.

When she saw it, Mamma freaked out.

She’s asked, “What did you do?”

I said, “Well, I bought it with the dollar you gave me.”

She said, “I didn’t want you to do that.”

I didn’t know. I didn’t have any training in money. What was I supposed to do? Save the dollar or give it back to her? I didn’t know, but I wound up ashamed of how I spent my money. And I didn’t really enjoy that bobble-headed dog either.

Honoring Your Intuition and Your Knowing

Most of the people I work with are highly intuitive. In this culture, intuition is not as honored as nearly as much as logic and analysis. In fact you can be shamed for your intuition and knowing.

In the past people had to rely on their intuition. They didn’t have the technology we do today.

Everyone used their intuition a lot and highly intuitive people were prized because they could predict the weather, tell if danger were coming, and guide the tribe. Honoring your intuition is another place to release shaming.

I would love to know how this session worked for you and what Self-Stoppers you would like help with unraveling in your own life and work. Please let me know.