Afraid of “Getting Out There”?
The Fear of Standing Out.
As we continue to explore the fears that hold you back from serving more clients, making a bigger impact, and enjoying more income, we come to one that threatens so many mission-driven entrepreneurs and service practitioners: The Fear of Standing Out!
How do you know if you are affected by this fear? Ask yourself these three questions:
- Do I ever shy away from talking to someone about what I do because s/he may think I'm pushy?
- When I have the opportunity for a sales conversation, do I treat it like a chat instead of the opportunity to make a difference in someone’s life?
- Do I “forget” to take business cards with me to networking events or fluff my 30-second introduction?
If you experience any of these scenarios, you may have a fear of standing out. It's very common among conscious entrepreneurs, coaches and healers.
The underlying fear is this: "If I stand out, I will be rejected." As human beings, we all avoid rejection because it threatens our survival instinct. It's hard-wired into us, so the way to deal with this fear is gently and with little steps or micro-actions.
If you force yourself to "get out there in a big way", your body/mind system is going to shut you right down. You might have initial success, but you won't be able to maintain the momentum because you haven't built a foundation of relating to your fears in a sustainable way.
To begin the process of relating to your fears in a new way, try this:
- Sit or lie quietly and tune into your body. Ask yourself, "Do I hold the Fear of Getting Out There?"
- If you get a sense of "Yes", ask yourself, "Where is this Fear held in my body?" Sense or see where this Fear may be lurking.
- Dialogue with this Fear. Speak to it and ask, "What gift do you have for me, Fear?" You may find that the Fear of Standing Out is trying to protect you from being hurt or rejected.
- Continue the dialogue with the Fear, "Is there another way that you can protect me besides keeping me hidden from my ideal clients?" Keep going with your conversation with the Fear until you feel complete. Jot down what the Fear tells you and follow its instructions, if there are any.It could be that the Fear tells you to speak up more at work or to ask a non-judgmental friend how your 30-second introduction sounds. These will be your micro-actions to building the foundation in your mind and body for success with your business.
- Return to this conversation with your Fear of Standing Out in the coming weeks to learn more and develop a rapport with this Fear. It will serve you well.
- If you prefer to journal rather than have a conversation with Fear, do it as a call and response. Ask a question as yourself and then let Fear answer from its perspective. Continue the conversation until you feel complete. Your journal entry will look like a script from a play with two characters in dialogue.
- If you don't get a "Yes" when you ask where in your body you are holding the Fear of Standing Out, ask that you be shown where you hold it in a gentle way in the next few days. You will be presented with an opportunity to become aware of your Fear, and you can begin to dialogue with and transform your relationship to the Fear of Standing Out.
So why would you even want to develop a rapport and relationship with your Fear of Standing Out?
Why go to the bother and stress of facing your Fear?
Because you are here to do something more with your life and business than shrink in fear. You are here to make a difference! As Marianne Williamson says in her book, Return to Love, “Your playing small does not serve the world”.
It's time that we mission-driven entrepreneurs add our voices to the conversation about business, values, and change. I invite you to join me on this New Wave of Entrepreneurism where we make a difference and run a business with integrity, authenticity, and prosperity.