What’s Your Approachability Factor?
When I lived in Manhattan, I adopted a “don’t mess with me” posture.
I made little eye contact, kept my purse near my body, and pretended that I had on body armor so that I appeared stronger and tougher than I felt on the streets and in the subways of New York City. I usually don’t need that posture now that I live in North Carolina, but I know how to adopt it if I’m in a dark alley walking to a parking lot. I get out my mace and put on my “leave me alone armor”. I’ve been thinking about how the energy we project affects us in business.
I go to a lot of networking events, and I notice how approachable people are.
I make a study of how people affect me – whether I want to talk to them or whether I want to avoid them. I truly believe a strong Approachability Factor is key to creating relationships that turn into business.There are many reasons why your Approachability Factor may be lower than you’d like:
- you are shy and make yourself go out networking because you know you need new clients
- you are afraid to be too open and friendly because others will think you’re pushy and trying to sell them something
- you think you have to be pushy to get sales but instead you turn people off
- you’ve had a bad day and really just want to go home and curl up in front of the television
Let’s get to work dismantling these limiters to your Approachability Factor because the more approachable you are
- the more people you’ll talk to and create relationships with,
- the more conversations you will have about the benefits of your services, and
- the more business you’ll generate and the more money you’ll make.
I’ve talked here before about the simple mind/body techniques that I’ve learned from my business coach, Rachael Jayne Groover, from her work called the Art of Feminine Presence™.
To recap and take it further, here are three steps to boost your Approachability Factor.
- Step 1 is to drop your awareness into your Power Center, which is in your lower abdomen, about 3 inches below your navel and in the center of your body. With your awareness here, you begin to feel more centered and safe.
- Step 2 is to imagine a globe of light all the way around you. This light globe is protective and raises your sense of safety.
- Step 3 is to align your Power Center, your Heart, and your Mind with an imaginary column of light running from your head straight down through your body so that you are vertically aligned rather than leaning forward (which comes off as too aggressive) or leaning back (which makes you appear that you are avoiding or apologetic).
If you stop for a moment and imagine yourself taking each one of those steps, you may notice that you breathe deeper, you feel more confident, and you know that you can approach and be approached with safety.
Research shows that the best business transactions result when both parties are interested in both their own goals and in the other person’s. Satisfaction goes up more when both parties engage the mind and the heart in the conversation. Adding attention on the Power Center means you are effectively engaging Mind, Heart, and Body when you are discussing business.
With your awareness on these three centers – Mind, Heart, and Body – you increase your Approachability Factor tremendously because:
- You feel safe and available for interaction
- You are present and can respond spontaneously to what’s happening around you
- You are aware of your own desires and can hear those of others
- You instantly become more magnetic and approachable
The next time you go networking, make a presentation, or have a sales conversation, implement these three steps before you begin. Notice what’s different about how you feel, how you are approached, and what happens when you are aligned Head, Heart, and Body. You may be surprised!
It takes practice to master these three steps because most of us tend to go into our head when we’re nervous. These three steps are so worth the practice because they will ground you, center you, and give you a sense of safety and confidence no matter what situation you are in.