Are You Allowed Your Desires?

Are You Allowed Your Desires?

Desires drive us through life whether it’s to

  • Get an education and pursue a career
  • Find a mate and have children
  • Run and grow a successful business

Our desires give us the energy, power, and perseverance to follow our dreams and keep at it when the going gets tough. But for many women, our true desires are not supported or even allowed.

Even in the US, after decades of advancement in gender equality, women can easily be stymied in their desires to make money, to influence change, and to lead.

This limitation of a woman’s desires can come from the media that portray the “perfect” woman as slim, flawless, and silent. A trip through the grocery checkout line usually features young, perfect, and scantily clad women on many magazine covers. It is easy to forget that they have been “photoshopped” into perfection.

Or perhaps the limits come from our collective opinion that a woman who is feminine is never bossy, directive, or strong. Criticism and derision are powerful deterrents to owning your power and desires.

Or maybe you believe that women should give away their services because it’s “unbecoming” to ask for money for them - like smoking or revealing one’s legs used to be frowned upon.

When you think about your desires, how strong are they?

  1. Do you clearly know what your desires are?
  2. If you know your desires, do you find them socially acceptable or are you more comfortable keeping them to yourself?

I had an experience recently that made me aware of being shy to share my desires – even to strangers. I went to a favorite restaurant to eat breakfast alone and took a book called Find a Husband after 35. This book was recommended to me because I am interested in finding a partner.

As I walked into the restaurant, I realized I was embarrassed to show the book to anyone, even to people I don’t know!

Logically I know I shouldn’t be ashamed of being interested in attracting a good man. But emotionally, I was timid to reveal my desire.

If I apply this awareness to business, I wonder how much I shrink from sharing my desire to attract and sell to ideal clients, create and deliver programs that make a difference, and build wealth and fulfillment.

Is it acceptable to have a wealth of ideal clients and earn a good living doing what you love to do?

  1. Will anyone object if you’re influential and become a leader in your field?
  2. Will anyone criticize you for the way you look and dress?

These concerns are enough to make any sane woman want to hide out and pretend she doesn’t WANT anything in her business! But you and I must move past these fears and embrace what really matters to us – no matter who doesn’t like what we desire.

That’s the only way you and I are going to make the difference we came to make, help the people we want to help, and enjoy the income we deserve.

So my questions to you are

  1. What do you desire for yourself, your business, and your life?
  2. Are you willing to let yourself know your desires?
  3. Are you willing to stand up for yourself and your desires when others disagree with you?

Your desires are your Soul speaking to you. Bury them and you live a half-life or someone else’s life. You will most probably shrink into a shell of who you meant to be and mourn what could have been.

It is my desire for each one of us to find our voice, our passion, and our abundance through our work and contribution to the world.

I invite you to explore your desires - if only in the privacy of your own thoughts. That’s where to start – admitting your desires to yourself.

Will you allow yourself that? Will you allow your desires?